Tobi:
Inquire Within
Archive
Of humor. Female.


I have a universe’s worth of cosmic differences at my hand

I can choose to believe in the Brahma, the God, gods, Buddha,

the deities of the sun, the moon, the sky, and stars, the

people, the light, the devil, the science, or the faith of my own life.

I can place trust in the living, non-existent, the myth, legend, the inanimate,

or abandon every movement if I choose.

I am free to test my faith with any person or thing, I could

sample the life, living, dead, and silent like Siddhartha

I would wait, think, and fast for none other than you

I want none to approve or deny my right to heaven nor hell,

ground nor ash except

I would gladly greet you at the gates of your Rightful home

I want truth and love from the hands

that sat folded in the casket

untouched

by the mortician who patched

your bruised and swollen face

in order to let me see you

one more time.

I want your soul back from the black hole or Big Bang

that took you

I need your soul back from the beginning or end that

took you

You are my only belief system now

because if I can’t have you, I have no other choice

Tuesday

And it used to be that every night

I’d go to bed thinking of all the guys that didn’t love me

but now I think of the one brother

that did

Monday

today is day 3 without you

and although each hour feels like an eternity

I still want people to talk of, love, and miss you

like it is day 1

Pain is

the deepest desire within

to jump into the filled casket

and never let go or escape

Pain is the fear

of believing it’s real

Sunday

Today is easier than yesterday. I was sure that the pain would never ease, but maybe my body is just tired of crying. It’s comforting to know that Garth would want me to go back to living life as soon as possible. Or sooner than possible. He lived life to the max and loved every second of it. Something I wish that I could actually do, even though he couldn’t believe me when I said that sometimes I just couldn’t. He didn’t believe in depression, but he believed in family. And it’s a shame that I couldn’t go in place of him.

I love you, Garth.

Sassy Misty has a point.

Sassy Misty has a point.

You could cut something dirty in with this…

You could cut something dirty in with this…

What did time taste like

when you let it burn down your throat